Welcome to Embarrassing Lesbian Sex Story-Fest 2012!

In the event you’ve disregarded:

Have you observed just how every time anyone introduces some thing gross about lesbian intercourse, we constantly backlink to
the fingernails article
? That is because online badly does not have the lesbian/bisexual/queer-girl-person sex exact carbon copy of Cosmopolitan’s Sex Stories or Sassy’s

Mortifying Times.

You probably have actually an uncomfortable gender story you need to give the net. For gifts! Your tale could be short or long (50 to 4500 words sounds about right) and may end up being cringe-worthy or hilarious.

The winner will receive the Pop your own Top package from
Good Vibrations
(a version of this system was previously
assessed by NSFW Sunday
), including:

+ Hitachi Magic Wand

+ Fuchsia Pop Top Deluxe Silicone attachment

+ 2 oz. bottle of Please Fluid Lube

+ And net reputation!

Vote to suit your favorite from today until monday
! The winner will likely be established in the future. And then: it’s the perfect time. Here, the absolute most awkward, mortifying, shameful, or hilarious lesbian sex stories posted by you.


1. Lesbian Auto-Sex

My personal existing gf and that I were on the long ago from the cinema one night, and since I becamen’t sleeping over we chose to pull-over into an area which will make “use” of my vehicle. Long story short, we had great gender and decided to keep, we decided to go to turn the auto around, and it had been totally stuck into the dirt. We experimented with every little thing to get it away, including the woman trying to press it leading to the woman falling dull on her face inside dirt. Ultimately I experienced to call my father (exactly who didn’t know about gayness or stated girl) at 1:30 a.m., explain we were stuck in a field, why on the planet we would actually been in industry anyway, and have him ahead tow united states around.

via femmethings.tumblr.com


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2. Not Sex regarding Beach

You know how they state that “sex about coastline” is really sexy and exciting plus they have a cocktail known as after it? Well that’s BULLSHIT. Although the person who “they” are likely meant like, a warm sunny coastline with covers and maybe a chaise, rather than a cold, windy night on New york Beach which, if you find yourselfn’t from LA region, is like the anal area of shores … in a poor means. Anyways, I’m going upon this girl i am dating, nevertheless the wind keeps blowing mud during my face/in this lady vagina, and I’m coughing and it’s just about humiliating. In order for had been bad. But exactly how would we receive myself personally? We go back to her place, in which I check out get thus stoned that we literally COULDN’T FIND HER VAGINA. Cannot believe it is. We passed around her ankles. The worst part is actually, bc the lesbo area in LA is really so tiny, we see the lady constantly. As a vintage YM issue might state, OMG MORTIFYING.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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3. Fucking additionally the Police

Summer time before college, I had my first girl, as soon as i came across the marvels of gay sexytimes I found myself certainly obsessed, to the stage of being happy to exercise practically anywhere. Exhibit A: one-night after a dinner away, we made a decision to park my vehicle behind a closed-for-the-summer primary school and get at it. A female’s gotta carry out what a woman’s gotta carry out, amirite??

So things are going great until we come across headlights behind all of us and now we recognize OAHU IS THE COPS. We become clothed as fast as humanly feasible and after a few frantic seconds of, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BUTCH ONE,” “zero YOU WILL BE,” we choose simply take equivalent responsibility therefore both get free from the auto. The policeman is a significant old dude and demonstrably surprised to see two girls emerge from the automobile. He is completely, “What are you women performing straight back right here?” and that I cannot also imagine gender happened to him as a possibility, despite the fact that we were sweaty, disheveled, the car had been passionate, etc. HETEROSEXISM AT ITS FINEST! Therefore we’re like, “Oh, uh, going out, sorry.” He eyes all of us suspiciously and says, “Well, I’ve have got to take your info.” My personal girl is freaking about the woman parents obtaining wind of anything, but the guy assures all of us it’s simply routine procedure. So the guy hands all of us a notepad and has now united states jot down our labels (exactly why the guy failed to merely inquire about our licenses, We have not a clue). He stands out their flashlight so we can see the notepad immediately after which we see … my girlfriend’s hand is included in bloodstream. I guess I would gotten my duration during sex together withn’t noticed. Thus IMMEDIATELY the cop is much like, “WAIT, YOU’RE BLEEDING. WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?” And my gf views and freaks away and makes up some crazy story about having cut by herself regarding pocket knife on the keychain. The cop claims on looking the vehicle (for systems?) and, finding nothing, ultimately at long last ultimately lets us get. Yet not before my personal sweetheart features inadvertently become my personal duration bloodstream all-around their notepad.

We vowed never to have sex behind a college once again (however never in a vehicle, cuz that’s just too good), after that chuckled for like 6 months directly. For years afterwards we’d joke in regards to the time we had gotten caught ‘”red-handed.”

via reno 911


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4. Damp T-Shirt Contest

My home is a college dormitory, as does my now ex-girlfriend. One-night we were in her space, having a smashing fun time testing the strap-on she’d only purchased from Edens Fantasies. In the same manner things had been planning to actually “explode,” the fire security moved off. My personal sweetheart ended up being hoping to get the strap on off, nevertheless the straps had been tangled, everyone was yelling in hall method, our very own RA had been knocking throughout the doorway, I happened to be nude and I also couldn’t get a hold of my personal bra, i did not have footwear, she was still twisted inside the damn harness… She wound up simply pulling the model outside of the use, tossing some sweatpants on on it, and we also ran outside, neither people in boots, me personally only putting on a t-shirt and a pair of the woman shorts… and it’s pouring. My t-shirt is actually white. I don’t have a bra. Not surprisingly, it absolutely was an awkward night.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com

russian cupid.com


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5. The 69’ers

My girl and that I had been wanting to 69 for the first time. We believed it could be hot to test something totally new in bed. I was at the base and she was on the top. Okay, therefore think about my personal face on her pussy and really the others is up to your own creativeness. Well I was type uneasy since I didn’t have much mind assistance. And so I decided to carry my personal mind some to make sure that i really could put some pillows under there or something. Well… when I had been trying to go my mind a little she should have seen some thing had been going on and somewhat forced down. Really, perhaps not such advisable because the woman entire vagina/bottom half went right-up into my face. Yea, we laughed for a whole couple of minutes next.

Jiz Lee and Stoya via Fleshbot


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6. Oops!

Once in twelfth grade I happened to be fingerbanging this truly hot woman at her house and she squirted. She was surprised, and I perhaps had been too, but she began sobbing! And I also ended up being younger and really odd, and I still don’t know why but we began chuckling, frustrating. Of which point she slapped myself (entirely deserved it), visited the toilet came back and obtained my clothes (strolling forms). To make sure that was sufficient but, I’m not even joking while I claim that each day that tale haunts me personally I have to air-five Dan Savage because it very improves: as I have always been leaving we see her mom and I also get immediately nervous but serve sexy and innocent because I became an overall charmer: “Bye, many thanks for having me personally,” as well as other these types of bullshit. As I turn from the her, she got myself of the shoulder and said, “Don’t you ever screwing touch my personal girl once more, dyke.” I wish I’d mentioned, as well as just believed anything smart and bitchy but i recently mentioned, “sorry sorry” performed this embarrassing bowing movement immediately after which I cried about drive home.

We most likely wrecked that family members though so it is cool.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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7. Ice

Once I was having sexy time with my sweetheart when – experience specifically fired up and experimental – I interupted the gender stating, “i’ll go get ice cubes, I’ll be straight back.” As I was actually moving away from the sleep my personal gf pointed to a wet place in which I had been, stating, “Take a look everything you left!” and giggling. Laughing, then i indicated where she was indeed and mentioned, “Hunt what YOU remaining!” Strike one. Regarding the sleep where my personal girlfriend was basically was a small little move of poop. She straight away burst into tears. I became surprised. All of our sexy time had used an unexpected change your even worse. As my girl’s sobs increased stronger i discovered it harder and harder to supress my fun until eventually it burst regarding throat. Hit two. At this my sweetheart – however sobbing – stood up and began frantically stripping the sheets from bed. She rapidly paced all over area getting brand-new sheets on, blubbering how gross she thought as well as how embarrassed she was actually. We helplessly viewed and tried to input words of assistance advising her i did not imagine it had been that gross. “It’s not a problem, you merely failed to wash really well!” Strike three. She collapsed on floor at the conclusion of the bed, pulled the best comforter up around the woman physique, sobbed, and ate a complete package of snacks for the next twenty moments. At long last, she calmed down, and now we laugh about this. Still, it actually was one of many funniest but the majority of horrifying encounters of my love life.

via sapphoria.tumblr.com


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8. Stuck Fisting

Therefore, my personal sweetheart and that I were viewing some pornography on Cyber Dyke one night and got truly involved with it, so we turned it off going play. I happened to be fingerblasting the girl and every time I could think that she was actually close to orgasm, I backed-off to try and prolong circumstances. This went on for around 30 minutes. I finally had enough and desired the lady to finish, and so I upset to fisting the girl, which was one thing relatively brand new for both of us during the time. Whenever she eventually arrived, it was truly powerful, it really hurt my personal hand. I slowly decided to go to take my give out and well, she don’t wish to let it go, lol. We were caught. I became totally panicked, I didn’t imagine I happened to be ever going to have my personal hand-out. Neither among all of us understood what to do, very she begrudgingly also known as the woman cousin and dished the specific situation to the girl. I heard uproarious fun from the opposite end regarding the cellphone for like 5 minutes, even while my personal hand remains trapped. Eventually, the woman jackass sibling made a decision to be nice and carry out only a little Googling on the subject to aid us out and that I finally worked my personal fist cost-free. We never ever lived that down however, the woman sibling nonetheless teases me personally about it almost continuously.

via suicidegirls


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9. Rainbow Gathering

When my girl (of 6+ many years) and I met up, I happened to be young and unskilled. Really inexperienced. We were residing a residence that may be regarded as a kind of interior Rainbow Gathering with seven various other roommates, straight across from a few frat residences,and really near the campus of a large general public university. No-one locked the front doorway because individuals were as well stoned to consider where their unique secrets were. My personal sweetheart and that I had recently bought all of our first strap-on. When I use it regarding first time, after more or less an hour of strap modifying and dildo location, my girl burst into nervous fun. Seeing a dildo all of a sudden sprout from my personal big-tits, big-ass, buzzcut home probably looked slightly ridiculous. Ten minutes later on she had become across silliness from it all to provide me a blowjob. Then the doorway opened. A burly searching, certainly intoxicated frat dude wandered in, stared at united states for a second, immediately after which mentioned, “Ohhhhhh. Sorry, I was thinking this was my pal’s space,” in a tone that conveyed both a feeling of shock and excitement, like he previously just won the lotto or something. After which the guy stood indeed there, staring. My gf, recovering from the surprise first, informed him to get the fuck away. The guy switched and walked away, maybe not towards the front door. My gf, having turned-in to 6 legs of pure femme craze by this time, had gotten up-and chased him the bang out of our home, naked. I became kept for the room, choosing whether to disturb the fragile stability of straps that held the dildo set up or even to toss my tiger-striped gown (given to me as a gift from my personal granny) across whole ordeal and pray it failed to fall open. We chosen the second, and timidly made my personal solution to participate in inside drunk frat kid herding.

via femmethings.tumblr.com


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10. Shower World

My personal sweetheart and I had only completed setting it up on discreetly inside shower of dressing area in movie theater inside my college. She sweetly kissed me personally regarding the check and came in for a hug. Naturally We immediately bro-patted the girl in the straight back with two taps and thought straight away “what the bang ended up being that?… I’m hoping she doesn’t notice/say any such thing.” We conducted in for a supplementary second to pay for any possibly-strange bro pat. However as soon as we pulled aside, she viewed myself, bursts into fun and stated, “Did you merely pat myself throughout the back…?” I looked down in complete shame. “ended up being that designed to indicate

good job outdated bean

or something like that?” I was extremely petrified from the whole experience during the time but now each and every time we’ve an especially fantastic rousing game of intercourse someone becomes patted throughout the back.

via elles.tumblr.com

Vote to suit your favorite story
here
! champions is revealed in a few days.

Most stuff took place in lesbian gender recently!

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The Rumpus evaluated

The requirement of Particular Behaviours

, a collection by Shannon Cain that provides several point of views on sexuality and identification:


“Clear intimate information gasoline nearly all Cain’s best passages, as does her refreshingly agnostic and all-embracing viewpoint on sexual desire and identification. In “this is one way It begins,” the protagonist Jane begins the story with a “boy” and a “girl” she likes equally: “The girl is actually fond of the woman strap-on. The man is actually keen on cunnilingus. This really is satisfying to Jane. Plus, Jane can say this with the lady: ‘It would be good whether your cock happened to be larger.’ Jane would not get this to declaration into boy, though it might be somewhat real.” Jane ultimately ends up with neither the son nor your ex, however the story never ever shows that she should or could reach an identity-limiting epiphany, and alternatively ends with another type of number of bittersweet irony that I won’t display.”

via fuckyeahdykes.tumblr.com

+ Some people currently wondering whether intercourse addiction is genuine or perhaps is made-up by people who merely have actually plenty of intercourse.
Per
the

Vancouver Sunlight

, female intercourse dependency is actually increasing, even though the instances the article utilizes tend to be flawed (pornography, s&m, and having matters are typical mentioned as research that “this thing is morphing in front side folks”). But odd statements apart, the article raises various fascinating factors.
Based on

Jezebel:


“That compulsive intimate conduct is an unpleasant ailment is obvious, but what’s not yet determined is what, precisely, comprises the difference between gender dependency and plain old compulsive conduct, or if gender addiction even is out there, about during the sight of some psychological state experts. One critic of intimate dependency warns that conflating sexual fixation with intercourse dependency does “real” addicts a disservice. To phrase it differently, there is a huge difference between being an alcoholic and liking porno a tad too a lot. As an example, the guy offers samples of alternative activities where people participate compulsively— like exercise, stamp accumulating, and music fandom. No one’s “addicted” to Radiohead. At the least, I really don’t think so.”

via shelikesher.tumblr.com

+ Having a “weird” name can influence your online internet dating choices.
Per
a study of 47,000 customers of a German online dating site, people will “significantly unattractive” first labels was given less profile hits than those with “significantly appealing” brands:


First names tend to be connected to stereotypes. When we come to be knowledgeable about individuals, the look of them takes on a role, but very really does just what this individual is known as. Definitely often the first info we have. This impact has a robust impact on the way we procedure extra information about any of it individual. If somebody provides a dubious name, we frequently immediately relate him with a dubious label. And we proceed to examine all further information according to this dubiousness.


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Whether flirting is a reasonable instrument for reporters has now already been the topic of argument inside UK, as a parliamentary document commissioned following phone-hacking scandal
says it is not
:


“underneath the heading “ten strategies utilized by some in the mass media – beware,” it mentions: “Flirting. Usually interlinked with alcoholic drinks. Made to allow you to decrease the defences and state a lot more than you supposed. Be careful.”

via pinktacolovers.tumblr.com


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